You did not know what would happen ever after,
You could tell it wouldn’t end up well at all,
So we sat beside resistors, witnessed history’s disasters,
Didn’t know how fast our tracks would get all covered up with snow.
But there are lessons to be learned about the colder climates.
Let the Penguins be the teachers to us stupid Primates:
1. Keep your eggs upon your feet.
2. Keep your backs turned to the south.
3. If your friends won’t eat,
then you might need to feed them with your mouth.
So, put your lips upon their lips,
Feel free to slip a little tongue.
If you get all hot and bothered,
You ain’t doin’ nuthin’ wrong!
Remember: Heat keeps these cold bodies keepin’ on!
Now, it’s not the worst idea to be defiant.
Nor is it the worst intent to be a perve.
Let your freaky, far-out flag fly free and high
While stayin’ silent—
With your middle finger pointed
To their God, who you don’t serve.
So, we’ll knit scarves to keep us warm,
And we’ll work weekends on the farm,
And if our memories get too short,
We’ll tattoo history on our arms.
Which will remind us of the time,
Before this storm.